Each time I drive past a graveyard numerous thoughts come into mind, but one distinct image plays over and over again. I wonder of how many uncountable victims are in the grave at the hands of their abusers and can’t speak out?
Who am I?
My name is GG. I was only 12 years old when it first happened to me by an Australian evangelical leader who was supposedly to represent the Pentecostal church and spread the love – however, instead his real aim was to build a kingdom of followers who worshiped him.
Child sexual abuse
A large part of why I couldn’t come to terms with the abuse was because I believed it was something that just didn’t happen. Child sexual abuse was fiction and was something you would only see in movies. It wasn’t something that happened in my small Bavarian town, or in my friendly neighbourhood. I didn’t want to be branded with that black spot on my forehead, the shame of abuse. I wanted the normal childhood that all the other kids seemed to have, and maybe if I just didn’t think about the ordeal it would just vanish. Instead, it left a horrifying wound that manifested itself in low self-esteem, depression, self-harm and anxiety.
Scary dangerous secret relationship
“It happens all the time and no one talks about it,” as I learned. Sexual abusers are so good at what they do that no one even realises what is happening. It started so slowly, spending time with me, building a friendship and making me feel good about myself. As the relationship grew, he made me feel comfortable and convinced me that the two of us had a special relationship no one else shares. Once that trust was established he slowly introduced me to sexual activity which progressed over time. At first, I had no idea of what was happening and as time moved on so did the sexual activities. I suddenly realised that I had a secret relationship, not a good secret relationship, but a scary dangerous secret relationship and no way out.
Every three hours someone is sexually abused in Australia!
Did you know, that every three hours someone is sexually abused in Australia
That should worry everyone, which indicates that it affects you or someone you love or acquainted with. As an abuse survivor, I was afraid to talk about what happened to me until I turned 40 years of age. I doubted my perception because I was so young when the abuse began.
I never met anyone personally who was open about their own traumatic experience, and I felt powerless when it came to seeking help. I felt ashamed and worried that others would find me repulsive if they knew of what happened to me.
What changed for me to become an Abused Survivor?
Through personal development courses over the last decade, I have been able to change my world around. I am a sexual abuse survivor. I can tell you what the abuse felt like for me and what kind of healing process got me to where I am today. Therefore, my goal is to spread awareness of the nightmares victims of sexual abuse encounter.
I have dedicated my life to seeking remedy and resolve for victims of child sexual abuse. My story represents hope for the hopeless.
I want to help others see that it is worthwhile to tell your story and pursue liberty and freedom with the knowledge a person should never feel shame or guilt because of others’ wrongdoing.
Maybe you have a similar story to tell. Now is the time to tell it.